


You Deserved to Know

by Real_Life_Mermaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Depressed Dean, Depression, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Protective Sam Winchester, Sad Fluff, Sam Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 08:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12250848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Real_Life_Mermaid/pseuds/Real_Life_Mermaid
Summary: Dean gets another chance to tell Cas he loves him. Or does he?





	You Deserved to Know

Dean was sitting on his bed, headphones on, listening to that damned cassette tape he had given Cas when he heard a faint knock on his bedroom door. “Leave me alone, Sam.” He called out, sounding as numb as he felt inside (though it could have been the liquor). Another knock and his door slowly inched open. Squinting against the hallway light now flooding his dark room, Dean leaned over to grab the closest empty beer bottle, intending to hurl it as his invading little brother. “Damn it, Sam, I said leave…” he began to shout but the sight of the figure that walked through the door knocked all wind from his chest like a freight train. He froze in astonished disbelief.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel stood in the doorway in his familiar suit, trench coat and backwards blue tie. The light from the hallway shone behind him, giving him an almost ethereal glow, complete with a halo around that endlessly messy head of hair. He stood smiling at Dean, a smile that he had never seen before and left him even more breathless. At once, Dean shoved everything off his lap and scrambled off the bed, knocking over the empty bedside beer bottles on the floor. He took a few careful steps towards the angel, barely daring to breath, much less believe what he was seeing. “C-Cas? Castiel, is that…. Is it really you?!” He watched with apprehension as Cas took a step towards him and slowly reached out to gently grab Dean’s upper arm, near the handprint hidden under his tshirt. The warmth of Cas’ solid fingers suddenly reminded Dean to breathe and everything came flooding out at once. Dean lurched forward and wrapped his arms around Castiel, holding him probably too tightly, and burying his face into Castiel’s neck. He felt Cas’ arms fold tightly around his body and the two of them held each other in relief for a moment before parting. Dean gazed into Cas’ brilliant blue eyes, afraid to take his hands off the angel. “Cas, what… how…” he said between breaths, tears running silently down his face. “You were dead! I had to burn your body!” At this, Castiel looked down at his feet, almost ashamed. “I am sorry Dean. I miscalculated my fight with Lucifer and caused you significant pain. I never meant for it to be this way.”

Dean put his hands on either side of Castiel’s face. “Cas, please don’t apologize. All that matters right now, is that you are here! I don’t know how, or why, but you are alive! And I… I love you too.” Castiel gave Dean a soft, almost sad, but loving look that gave Dean the courage to continue. He removed his hands from the angels face and used them to take Castiel’s hands in his own. “I’ve tried to show you over the years but I never said it out loud. You deserved to hear it from me, especially after you told me during that fight with Ramiel. You deserved to hear it Cas, and I never said it! Then I lost you without ever getting the chance. Now you’re here and I never want to risk this again. I can’t lose you, not without letting you know how much I love you.”

Dean searched Cas’ face for a response. He was met with a breathless smile and watery blue eyes. He felt Castiel’s warm hands move up to his face, brushing away the tears that were still falling. “Dean…” was all Cas needed to say before the angel’s face began to lean closer to his. Dean swallowed hard in anticipation and could feel his heart racing. As those perpetually chapped lips slowly inched closer and closer, Dean could feel Cas’ warm breath, followed by the tiniest crackle of electricity that ran through his body. Right before their lips were about to meet, Dean’s eyes fluttered closed. He felt Cas’ soft nose brush against his own and tilted his head, lips slightly parted, before…

*knock knock knock* “Dean?”

Dean’s eyes snapped open. It was dark and he was feeling highly disoriented. _Where am I? What happened? Where’s Cas?_ As his eyes adjusted he realized he was back on his bed, headphones still on, empty beer bottle in one hand, trench coat in the other. _A dream? It was all a dream?? No… no it can’t be…_ Another knock on his door had Dean once again scrambling off the bed and stumbling towards the door, half hoping…

Dean threw the door open to find Sam standing there with a tray of food. “Dean? What’s wrong? What happened?!” Dean felt his heart sink and struggled to catch his breath, head swimming from standing up too quickly. But it was a lost cause and he found himself slumping to the floor. He heard the food tray Sam was carrying crash to the ground as he caught Dean and eased him onto the floor, propping him up against the door frame. “Dean?! Dean, are you ok?! Come on, Dean, talk to me!” he distantly heard Sam shouting. “Cas. Where is Cas?” Dean mumbled deliriously. _No, no, no, no, no,_ Dean thought to himself. _No, that was too real. It couldn’t have been a dream._ Dean looked frantically at his brother’s face. Sam’s sad, pitying expression told Dean all he needed to know. He sank back against the door frame, bunching up the trench coat and buried his face into it, sobbing. “He was right here. He was so solid and real, Sammy!” He felt Sam wrap his big, lanky arms around him. “I love him, Sam. I love him and I never told him!” “I know, Dean. I know…” was all Sam said.

                                                           

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this! I was in a blah mood and in the mood for sad fluff!!


End file.
